Greetings, NPCs! The Well-Red Mage, speaking to you at the behest of beings across the interdimensional rifts, here to rise to the occasion of the #BloggerBlitz! This event was postulated and will be decided here at Adventure Rules.
I’ve been tasked with describing why my character pick, Mega Man, would win in my and my opponent’s assigned situational: a dance off. I and the Blue Bomber (Red and Blue, primary colors) are pitted against that vile, crooked, slanderous, two-bit Pokémon Ranger. And I’ve got to do this on my birthday today, no less.
(Note that @Lodestar_Valor had to drop out of the running for personal reasons, so I’m dedicating this challenge-in-jest to them in their absence!)
And I’ve got to do this on my birthday today, no less. Well, it’s all quite simple really. I’ll lay it out for you. Here’s why Mega Man’s music video dance off would be catchier and more popular than my opponent’s, in 10 logical points (begin 500 word count):
#1. I’m a red mage, so I know about versatility. Mega Man is one of the most versatile characters around. He is capable of interfacing with the weapons systems of his defeated opponents, allowing him access to a huge arsenal of abilities to adapt to ANY situation. Given this complex, futuristic technology that forms the basis of the Blue Bomber’s adaptive capabilities, I’ve no doubt that Mega Man could set aside blasting away robot masters to get some highly adaptable groove on.
#2. Constructing a viral music video requires some technological know-how. Well, Mega Man is made of the stuff. He is intimately familiar with computer programming, online networking, artificial intelligence, and software of all kinds. Interfacing with the world’s premiere video and music production software, the best available, would be second-nature for the Blue Bomber.
#3. Mega Man has already procured auditory abilities, used them with high proficiency during his history. Manipulating sound-waves of any sort has happened more than once in Mega Man’s life. Mega Man’s familiarity with sound-themed attacks will have earned him much experience manipulating audio.
#4. What’s a music video without special effects? Plain music. Well, Mega Man also packs a SFX punch thanks to his range of weapons dealing with light, smoke, fire, ice, lasers, discs, particles, reflections, conflagrations, electricity, conductive materials, beams, explosives, sparks, magnets, shadows, crystals, springs, blasters, bullets, gyros, water, bubbles, gravity, meteorology, atmospherics, prisms, and quantum mechanics. Dr. Light once described Mega Man as having limitless potential. He could make a Pink Floyd concert seem dull by comparison.
#5. Can Mega Man dance? Yes. Behold the following found-footage.
#6. In terms of what motivates Mega Man, we’re talking about an intensely driven character who has never showed any signs of indifference, fatigue, or cowardice.
#7. Mega Man possesses the precision of a machine but he told Dr. Wily at the end of Mega Man 7: “I am more than just a robot…” before telling him to die. Yes, Mega Man made the cold calculation that ending Wily’s life would be the most efficient maneuver in that moment, for everlasting peace. Shocking but in terms of measuring probabilities, mathematically correct. That statement reminds that Mega Man has the most precious commodity anyone could have: autonomy.
#8. Mega Man is expert at exploiting weaknesses. What weaknesses would a Ranger have? A Ranger’s penchant for tackling ecological issues may lead Mega Man to causing an ecological disaster with a simple flame-based attack, distracting the Ranger from attempting this dance off. Mega Man could also easily hack into using the Ranger’s Styler, or Poke Balls for that matter.
#9. Mega Man’s soundtracks have some of the best video game music ever. The music from Mega Man II alone is the definition of awesome. Theme the music video around that!
#10. Mega Man’s original name in Japan was Rock Man. His series has been a milestone in gaming music. Rock is as much a part of his DNA as his name. “What would a Ranger know of this matter?”
That’s why Mega Man wins.
Happy birthday to me.
-The Well-Red Mage
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