“If life was an RPG…”

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timemage “The following is a guest post by The Timely Mage.”

Role-Playing Games can be fun and engaging. Often times they try to put you in the shoes of a relatable protagonist in a fantastical world – the ultimate escape. But as hard as they try there are some things that would be questionable, bizarre, or just outright hilarious if we lived in their world.

Well what if our world followed the same rules as an RPG? What would you exploit and what would drive you crazy? Would making life more like an RPG be like reality 2.0 for you or make you realize some things are better left with an off button?

In some ways my life is already like an RPG. When I’m presented with a dialogue choice I spend like 10 minutes trying to guess the outcome while they stand there staring blankly into my soul.

Conversations would be simpler. If I wanted to know the extent of someone’s thoughts I’d just walk up to them and listen until they started repeating themselves. Actually that isn’t as far from reality as I thought…

I’d want my overworld music to be either “Ronfaure” (FFXI), “Sunleth Waterscape” (FFXIII), or “Blue Fields” (FFVIII). I’d want “Guldove” (Chrono Cross) to play constantly at my house. Conversely I’d expect “One Winged Angel” to play during every spider encounter.

The lack of toilets could be a problem but then again we wouldn’t have to use the bathroom (unless perhaps it’s comically necessary) so it all works out.

Becoming stronger, smarter, and richer by killing beasts actually doesn’t sound half bad.

Having an instantly effective antidote for every ailment like poison, blindness, confusion, sleep, slow, zombie, and even death would be pretty awesome.

Share some of your thoughts in the comments.


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23 thoughts on ““If life was an RPG…”

  1. I don’t know if I’d want life to be like an RPG. Firstly, giant spiders. Secondly, GIANT SPIDERS! I also wouldn’t like having to wearing increasingly skimpy clothing for better “protection”. It would be pretty sweet though not to worry about resumes & things. Just walk right in & you’re hired.

    Maybe I’ll do an experiment replicating RPG dialogues the next time some random yahoo starts talking to me when I’m standing in line at the grocery store minding my own business. Stare at them with unblinking eye contact while picking random words to interrogate them about.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I want to be able to run around in the circle, engage in random battles, and kill monsters for gil and experience. It would beat working for eight hours a day and leveling up would be amazing! I’d gain new abilities and be able to take off more damage. I’d also love for One Winged Angel to play whenever I’m super angry and/or in the midst of a major argument, because I can totally relate to “estuans interius.”

    Liked by 2 people

  3. My life has been an RPG for a year or so now. I got my first quest in an e-mail from a foreign princess who needed me to give her my bank account number in order to save her from her evil in-laws. The main questline seemed boring, though, so I’ve just been doing sidequests instead.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I would grab a gunblade, throw on a pink wig, and hunt down the tyrants of our world. Of course I’d have a silly XIII day time limit to deal with them all before the world ends, but I could totally do it!

    After I save the world, I’d like to retire in FFXIII’s Sunleth Waterscape area. It’s so beautiful! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Technically life IS an RPG. Sometimes it’s a grind and we lose ourselves in a rush to level up. Better jobs, more money, acquire a flat etc. Like most RPGs, it’s better if you’re not beelining for acquiring more wealth/experience and simply exist in the world… free to roam… to explore… to live 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • One thing which I think life needs that RPGs have is the idea of the quest. Life seems to need goals, dreams, aspirations, and meaning for living. The people I’ve met that didn’t have these were variably depressed or aimless in life. I wish that everyone could have/find their quest.

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Haha, I do wish all conversations were as easy as standing there waiting for the other person to start repeating their dialogue. I also wish that morality systems that reward you were a thing in real life. If I’m always nice to people, I’d like it to pay off!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I’d be down with some grinding in order to level-up a bit haha. But I think people always coming into my house and stealing my stuff would get old after a while. And what if I tried to fortify my house against the heroes trying to take my things? Pretty soon I’d wind up as a villain when all I wanted was to keep my precious Ring of Arcane Knowledge safe. (These are jokes. I’m not that insane, I swear)

    Liked by 3 people

  8. I have known my answer to this question for a long time! I would abuse level grinding and become massively powerful and ultra-rich, breaking the game… essentially that’s just being smart, working hard in life and succeeding, which is what I’m trying to do anyways, hahaha!

    Liked by 3 people

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