Celebratory Post: 15k hits!

Happy August, NPCs!

So it’s been a cool minute since we laid down some cool beans like this. In intelligible language that means it’s been some time since we had a celebratory post for a milestone. I didn’t want to seem arrogant, I guess.

By the by, if you haven’t already, you really should get your own randomly generated Mage-name from our Magifying machine.

Anyway, it’s somewhat tedious to post a load of artwork every time we get 1,000 views. Besides, I don’t exactly want our blog homepage to be crowded with thumbnails for posts about artwork. This is a review blog at heart, gol’ darnit! And that’s why we’ll only be doing this for every 5,000 views henceforth and forthwith.

For anyone who’s curious, here’s a little transparency on our current state of affairs:


There’s a bit of helpful tips for new bloggers which can be found here, if that’d be useful to anyone reading this. Write! Write! Write! Two ingredients for being a blogger are a butt and a chair. Put them together and write. Or lie on the floor and write. That’s comfy too.

On with the artwork… horrific artwork. Fans of horror unite because today we’re sharing some of the worst of the worst: the most terrible video game cover art in existence! Admittedly, some of these aren’t so bad. Some of them may in fact be badly awesome. But only by degrees, just like getting hit by a truck is only less bad by degrees as having all your skin removed.

Thanks for reading and supporting us as we continue to try shoving our footprint onto the internet!

-The Well-Red Mage https://thewellredmage.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/rmage2.jpg?w=788



Pac Man?




Actually, I kinda feel sorry for this guy somehow…


World’s biggest hunting dog.


Speaking of dogs, that is not one.


…Where’s the title?


Bad Cat wears his sunglasses at night.

Giana Sisters

Super. Mario. Brothers. Feminism.


Noooooo! Not Ico too!


Whyyyyyy Em See Ay!


Attack on Titan, or what happens when you take off your spacesuit in space.


Haha! Finally!


What is this? Torture Porn? The cover art for the movie Cube? Nope. It’s the cover for a game about chibi dinosaurs launching candy-colored bubbles with their cute widdle arms.


Christopher Lloyd, what’d they do to you?!


Developers Meeting: “So Swanson, whaddaya wanna name our new game?” *Swanson stubs his pinky toe*

superman returns xbox 360 cover

It’s terrible because it has the words “Superman Returns” printed on it.


SEGA. The Louvre of terrible cover art.


Wait. Wat?

Snow White and 7 Clever Boys

Dodging copyright infringement like a boss. A freakishly disfigured boss.


From the music video for Michael Jackson’s “Beat it”…


You ever get so swole you can’t put on a shirt? Or touch your face?


“Look! PlayStation! Isn’t it beautiful?”


Schwarzenegger, Stallone, and Xenomorph.


“Uhhrrr… Karh-nah-ahj!”


Holy Heresy, Wisdom Tree! Metal speedo is unbiblical.


“Bersberll… heuheuheu.”


No words…


Signs SEGA was going belly up #1498: using graph paper for cover art.


Perfect for a space shooter. Thanks, Grandpa Billy Bob!


Not even this existing will get Hillary indicted! Though it might just explain exactly why she won’t be…


So actually this is pretty dynamic and awesome, but definitely not true to its content. That “Mmmm” armband on “Mario”, tho.


Proof that some of the best games had some of the worst art.

And the most notorious bad video game cover art of all time




Any that we missed? Please don’t share with us in the comments below!


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Categories: Celebratory

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32 replies »

  1. Congrats! Wow though, I immediately went on Amazon to see if I could purchase that Snow White game. Sadly it seems like it never made it to America, but I love purchasing “bad” games so I can rant about them in my reviews xD. A lot of “great” covers there for sure. Good job on finding them.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Congratulations on 15k Mages! Keep up the excellent work! For some reason, my last comment didn’t seem to post, so I’m sorry if your inbox suddenly gets multiples of my congratulatory messages!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Many congrats on your success! I can only hope to follow in those footsteps. And despite my name, I acknowledge the superior evil of whosoever approved of these box art designs. I may be and Evil Wizard, but Marketing Execs are Eldritch Abominations!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. HA! Iron Sword = Awesomeness (how could it not, with Fabio on the cover!). Phalanx was a fun shooter back in the day. Festers Quest = Great and fun game! And that Mega Man box art, though! I still remember seeing that thing when it came out. Did not want! What a gem, though, behind an ugly, ugly façade!


    Liked by 1 person

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