“More like Pokemon NO”


I’m a simple Mage. I don’t ask for much. A little white, a little black. A cozy inn at which to hang up my cape. Unconditional love. Catching Pokémon for myself on Pokémon GO.

I’ve sat here for the past several hours multitasking doing nothing and waiting to create my Trainer Club account! It’s no surprise that Pokémon GO has taken the mobile app world by proverbial storm, just as the original Pokémon Red/Blue did when it hit the world like an entertaining sledgehammer to the skull back in ’96. I remember the frenzy. I was eleven. Everyone at school brought their Game Boy, trading the digital monsters like cray cray.


I’m sure millions of copies of the original cartridges were sold, along with millions of Game Boys, but whereas getting your own Pokémon Red/Blue back in the day was as easy as going to the store or shopping online, today there’s a new problem with distribution and accessibility. There are too many people who want this game and even digitally they can’t meet the demand.


Stories circulated when Pokémon GO launched just three days ago on July 6th that there were crashes and server errors everywhere. Now I’ve got a webpage in front of me that says they’ve had to limit the amount of new accounts that can be created because of the sheer surge of people trying to get a piece of dat Pikachu. They ought to have seen this coming. I mean, this is Pokémon we’re talking about here. A cultural phenomenon. I’m not sure what’ll happen if I can’t catch ’em all soon, but I’m not ruling out arson just yet.

I don’t care if I trip and fall, stub my toe, or stumble across a dead body. I just want to catch some Pokémon. Is that too much to ask? Isn’t that innocent enough of a request? I just want to experience the magic too…


For be forewarned, O ye staff of Pokémon GO… if I do not get the chance to create my Trainer Club account and catch me some adorable, fictional animals soon, then you shall feel the sore and grievous wrath of my mighty pen.

I guess there’s nothing left but to wait and watch a 10 hour video of the Poké rap…


*heavy breathing*

-The Well-Red Mage 


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33 replies »

  1. Man oh man, Lord C’s still glad he said Hard No! to all this as niantic isn’t a ‘proper’ pokemon game… Jus started savin fer Moon & then govment slapped me in the face & they brought out UltraMoon *Sobs* so now saving fer that instead… *Sighs, while still Sobbing* at least I’ve still got Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Blue (DS) ongoing if I could be bothered… & Pokemon Stadium (N64) if only I could afford to play it…..

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have a Windows phone (hold your laughter), which Pokemon Go refuses to support. I do have a Galaxy tablet that runs it just fine, BUT I don’t pay for a wifi plan so I’m limited to catching things in my house. Which is nothing. Nothing lives in my house but me and I JUST WANT TO CATCH VIRTUAL PETS IRL!

    So I’m stuck living vicariously though people on Twitter.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think if you logged in with google account would’ve saved you time than the trainer club account. I’m currently level 7 in the blue team but for some reason pokestops and gyms are concentrated in certain areas in my country. I had to check Ingress map to see where is the nearest pokestop for my location and it turned out it’s a bit far to go by walking so i pass by on my way to work

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is how it starts, people. First you’re able to catch Pokémon anywhere in the world, now their working the same game setup in Sword Art Online. Won’t be long before the machines take over!!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Haha, the title had me up in arms ready to defend the game. Just be glad you can play it in your country. I have no idea when it will come to my country. I downloaded an apk to play for a while and then they blocked it or something. The pokemons and pokesigns stopped appearing. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  6. “…the sheer surge of people trying to get a piece of dat Pikachu.” Lol! I haven’t laughed that hard in a while.

    Once the hype dies down I may give it a try. If this game was around when I was a kid though, I would have gone into a frenzy trying to get it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey glad we could share a laugh! I got the app to work now, and I caught a Rattata. Yays. You have to have pretty good of a connection in order to have smooth gameplay. This is why I dislike mobile games, but it’s fun walking around and I like that it rewards you for visiting landmarks and important places in your community. When it pointed out that I’d get more Poke Balls for visiting my local Goodwill, I smiled.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Lmao XD I’m glad someone wrote about this. Niantic definitely messed up the launch of this gem.

    The official Android app (at one point) had only 100,000 downloads while the unofficial APK file had registered over 2 million. That’s bad for business as you can’t project revenue saying “Our app is extremely popular – look how many people downloaded it illegally.” Yet at the same time, the massive demand has seen Nintendo’s stock rise by 10% so we know (and they know) how much money there is to make from this.

    Its easy for me to say this as someone who doesn’t know a thing about product launches but seriously… the smart move would have been to hold back on the release until you could launch the app simultaneously in all regions. Even today, the UK can’t get it (officially) because they still can’t cope with the server demand from other countries. Its super frustrating.

    Liked by 1 person

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